Joke - Letter From The Army

[kenntona]

Letter from a Tumba kid to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Tumba is short for Tumbarumba, a small town not far from Wagga Wagga, Johor.)

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell kor kor Ah Kow and Ah Ter that the Army is better than working on the kampong farm - tell them to get into the Army quick before the jobs are all gone.

I was a bit slow in settling down at first, because you don't get outta bed until 6am. I like sleeping in now, but all you do before brekky is make your bed and shine your boots and clean your uniform. No cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothing.

Men must shave, but its not so bad, coz there's hot water and a light to see what you are doing.

Breakfast has cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no prata or overnight mutton stew. You don't get fed again until noon, and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'road march' - just like walking to the post office in the neighbouring village.

This will kill Ah Kow and Ah Ter with laughter. I keep getting medals for shooting - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody durian head and it doesn't move and its not firing back at you like the Muthu family did when our bull got their cow pregnant. All you gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target. You don't even load your own cartridges - they comes in magazines and you don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the lawnmower when you reload.

Then you gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Ah Kow and Ah Ter and Kong Long and Buaya and Tambye all at once like we do.

Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this guy from 5SIR - he's 6 foot 8 and 100 kg stone and I'm 5 foot six and 50 kg, but I fought to the end.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how good it is.

Your loving daughter,
Huay Huay