This time not being silly ,got something to ask.

[Markus]

Originally Posted by jess1

Can a man and a woman have very good friendship and nothing elas?? Want to see what everyone say about this.

Can - when either or both are gay

[phil]

I agree with Centurion!! Men look at any chic they are talking to and wonder how she looks naked, its a fact!!

Having said that, ive got some good chic mates that i would never contemplate crossing the line with. But this is Singapore, very different here, more open to friendships between the sexes.

[DoggieHowser]

Read abt The Ladder Theory (click on the link)

Centurion's quote of When Harry Met Sally is also used to explain the Ladder Theory

Men and Women have different ranking criteria


Excerpts:

The ladder theory is a funny, scientific explanation of how men and women are attracted to each other. It also covers such topics as why women sometimes just want to be friends but men always want sex. It is based upon many years of sociological field testing, and was first conceptualized in 1994 in Exeter, CA by Dallas Lynn with acknowledgements to Jared Whitson for his role in formalizing the theory.

• Bob Meets Jane
• Then Bob Meets Connie

Now the ladder theory description goes like this:
1. Bob Meets Jane
2. Bob sizes her up based on the above criterion
3. Bob puts her on the ladder
4. Bob meets Connie
5. Bob sizes her up based on the above criterion
6. Bob puts her on the ladder above Jane

You can recognize this has gone on because Bob says " I'd like to fuck Jane, but not as much as I want to fuck Connie"

I think that everyone has heard this or something like it enough times for us to accept it as axiomatic and move on. You might be thinking, " Well what about Jane and Connie?" We'll get to them next.

As to the first point, that of money. Well most guys know that women dig guys with money. Would Donald Trump be fucking models if he wasn't rich? That question is rhetorical. Now I don't even believe this is wrong, I think it is just nature. But I also think women who are this way (and it is almost all of you) should be honest and admit that they are basically whores, and stop saying bad things about the so-called "actual whores" who are just trying to earn an honest living.

Most women read this and say something like, "Well I'm not the average woman because..blah...blah...not true...blah blah...my boyfriend/lover/husband/masseuse was poor...blah...blah."

If you thought something like this you are very likely the average woman. If you read it and went "Hmmm..." and then you went back to doing physics, then you have a case.

Looks are not to be discounted. I see many girls revert to about a seventh grade emotional level when they see some guy at the club, or some guy from a crappy movie. I think everyone has seen this phenomena, and it seems to have become an alarming trend in women of increasing age.

The attraction category is broken down further in the next section. This is a change from previous versions of the ladder theory that included looks here instead of attraction. I feel this is a more accurate depiction, as evidenced by experiment and peer review.

The last 10% was my effort to give women the benefit of the doubt. A common question men ask of women is "Tell me what you want in a man?", which is like asking how many guys she's slept with, an invitation to be lied to. Because she'll almost invariably answer with some combination of

• sense of humor
• intelligence
• sensitivity
• emotional stability

As far as I can tell this is mostly rubbish. But in an effort to be fair I have included this, since there seem to be a few rare cases of this. Just none that I have ever seen.

Another thing to watch out for is the code words women use. Here is a translation guide for dealing with women.
Says: I want a man who is motivated and has goals.

Means: I want a rich man

Says: I want a man who knows how to treat a woman.
Means: I want a rich man

Says: He's from a really good family.
Means: He's from a really rich family.

I'm sure you get the point. Let's move on

Scenario 1: Tom meets Jane. She's pretty and seems interesting to talk to. Tom and Jane start haging out and talking more and more. Tom develops an attraction to Jane, and one day tries to kiss her. Jane tell Tom she doesn't think of him that way and she wants to remain friends. The next few weeks contact between the two falls off. Jane starts fucking an outlaw biker.

Ladder Theory Explanation: Tom met Jane. Tom was immediately placed on the friends ladder. Tom didn't know this. Tom tried to jump ladders. Jane kicked Tom in the head rather than let him on and sent him hurtling to the Abyss below. The oulaw biker was not on her friends ladder (they never are) but rather on her good ladder.

Scenario 2: Tom meets Jane. She's cute and seems smart. After an appropriate amount of time he asks her out on a date. She acccepts and they have what seems to be a perfectly nice date. Tom thinks he has a chance with Jane. He asks her out again. She says no, either explicitly or by never returning his phone call. Tom has no idea what the Hell just happened. Jane starts fucking an unemployed alcoholic.

Ladder Theory Explanation: Jane misrepresented which ladder Tom was on. He thought he was on the good ladder because of her acceptance of the date. Mistake. This led to an unintentional ladder jump. He was kicked into the Abyss. In this situation, Jane often wants to stay friends becasue you are so interesting and funny or some shit like that. If this happens you are most likely an Intellectual Whore. I'm sorry. This is most likely to be a ninja-bitch.

Scenario 3: A girl says any of the following to you:
• "You're like a brother to me"

• "You're like a big teddy bear".
• "I feel like I can talk to you about anything"
• "You're so nice"
• "Can you help me with my homework"

Ladder Theory Explanation: You are on the friends ladder. So Sorry.

You can see that a lot of problems can be avoided(though sadly not problem two) by declaring as soon as possible to a girl that you will not be friends under any circumstances. You can explain that she is too attractive or you can be blunt and say you don't want to bend your "friends" over a table and fuck them, but would rather play poker and go to the races with them, thus disqualifying her from friendship. As long as you are clear. This may scare a girl away. But if it does what would you want with such a skittish little twit anyway?.

[DoggieHowser]

Here's the conclusion from the Ladder Theory

Yes Virginia,
They all want to bang you

You'll note that a man has one ladder while a female has two. The man is lacking a "friends ladder." The man's ladder reflects the conventional wisdom that a man generally only wants one thing. That's because the conventional wisdom is correct. This leads us back to the conclusion that many women I have explained this to find so distasteful:

IF A MAN FINDS YOU ATTRACTIVE YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS

Many women want to argue this point and say things like " I have lots of guy friends." Maybe. There are exactly 3 cases Intellectual Whores has identified whereby a guy and a girl can be friends:

1. The guy is gay
2. The guy does not find you attractive
3. The guy already has a woman much higher than you on the ladder

Even Nietzsche knew this. Most guys know this intuitively. Most girls doubt. I have a challenge for all of you girls who still doubt. Pick a guy who does not meet any of the criterion on the above list that you think is your friend. Then ask yourself this question: If you were both alone at his place one night, and you excused yourself to the bathroom and came out naked and asked him to have sex with you would he:

1. Tell you he doesn't want to risk the beautiful friendship you have created with messy physical entanglements.

2. Comply.

Remember
...this only works if you are honest with yourself. Number one is of course something that guys hear all the time. Intellectual Whores refers to it as the Kiss of Death. It is more likely that he will jump you eagerly.

[kenntona]

Please lah, even the most platonic of friends..... things can happened, swee bo swee another story.......... human beings will get physical some point in time, a hug can turn into a kiss, a kiss into a french, then........

Ask yourself if you trust your hubby or your BF with his best female friends lor......... if yes, good for you.

Besides his friends, watch your friends too. Women tends to potong another woman.......

[centurion]

doggie, it is so fun when one nerdifies things. I enjoyed it. I subscribe to Billy Crystal's theory. But then ...

[asther04]

I think guys & gals can have a good friendship. But i guess along the way, there will b some attraction. Or perhaps, some attraction to begin with. But once it's out of the "system", it is very possible to have a good friendship. For gals, i think knowing how to carry yourself is very important. If you act too "chin chai" / slutty / "too out there", how to expect any guys to treat u with decency? However, if a gal knows exactly wat she wants & is smart, she should know better than to mislead a guy & friendship will then be possible.
A friendship between a guy & gal is not easy to get but precious if you get it. There are many things that only a guy can tell u - Example - get over that guy! he doesnt like u... dun be stupid! - but a good gal friend will tell u - No la! Give him some time! he will like u!... hahah... Gal frens are good for comforting you but guy frens can teach u how to get smart. So... friendship between guys & gals r rare but valuable. & very possible if you know exactly wat u wan & wat u should or should not do...

[Orh LuLu]

I got something to confess...

Before i was married, i have this close friend (gal). knew her for many years liao. we treat each other like brother and sister. We went to a diving trip together in Phuket. It was a 7 days trip. As it was in the peek season, we did not manage to get 2 rooms in 1 of the night so we decided to bunk in together. We are not attracted to each other in anyway. She is a sweet gal with abv average look. I was 17 back than, still fit with 6 pacs and brownish shoulder length hair to go along cos too much exposure to the sun (beachboy).. Yaya u can called it Ah beng hair style!

So night falls, the room was very cold with the aircon full blasted with very romantic lightings. since we are closed friends and treat each other like bro and sis, nothing will happen wan lah. NONO, something happens...... see movie also have.

She was walking out from the shower in clothes on and i was walking in for my turn.. nbz my leg knock against the bed and fell on her.. remember tos movies when a gal fell and u were there to receive her? but this time was the other way round. I was over her and we both landed on the ground with my hands on her... Damn, like the movie, we look at each other for few seconds and the next is, we were on the BED.

OK, are we still consider Good friends?

[asther04]

OLL, tat's damn funny!!! I burst out laughing... But a romantic story! hahaha..
So, r u two still frens???

[Rastaman]

OLL..no more good friends..u just became fark buddies ! lol